Valley is up. All howls pastAll Hollows, 'cause the terror is flowing nonstop down the administrator's hilltop.
These days we got devilish good news. V A L L E Y - OCT 17 - NOV 10. An Eternity in one month.
IT'S THE WRATH OF SISTER SPEAD.
Call your pals, and get your hankies 'causeShalo P's gonna make you laugh 'til you cry.
It's probably just gonna be a lot of weeping and kicking things into corners.
V A L L E Y
Sorry for the INTERNETlags - we make up for it by being negligent!
We were letting the new girl work on the updates. Can you EVER trust a mohawk? Tell me true. She'd made about fifty little paper boats with the notes we'd supplied, half of them downstream by the time we decided to just jot the word "DOOM" on new sheets ALL OVER AGAIN.
We are priming up for some "choice" fun onHalloween with big news from the office.
PLUS, this came into the office today (A REVIEW). Some scamp copied it like crazy (along with a bevy of scanned butts) and papered the walls of the workshop like a madhouse. There was a hush when the boss shuffled in. Breath was held. At the officewe're kind people - we want the environment to spring forth with cheer, but surprises are a notch above civility.
Anyhoo, Betty's out back crafting a totem pole of crack addicts out of wax with the leftover paper.
Strange, FROM THE DESK OF LINDA ISCALI SCOBIE :
Sometimes I'm asked if Shalo Pis real. I tell them: NO.
Yep, a tour. Usually, there's nothing like a little silver spray paint to the eyes to make silly requests go away, but this gig is NAILED DOWN. See you there, unless an intern finds that box of cans I KNOWis stashed somewhere in the back.
Personally I'm just hankering for a crack at lighting that big ole' pumpkin's head just to see fire spurt from behind his black glasses and curly hair.
Fun Fact: Shalo Pwas originally going to call the show "AKA everything in this universe fought me to finish this sentence, 'cause I'm releasing this blasted thing, or I die right fucking no-"
And that's when I heard news of Shalo P's passing. This was, coincidentally, also his reaction to the walls. He just withers and dies. We embalmhim, and then boil his remains, ladling theShalo Psyrup into a tin "The Smiths" lunchbox until he adequately recovers.
Just spoke toSister Spreadover the phone. She's fine with me handling things for now. I felt trapped in keeping back that this "mid-careeropus" thing Shalo keeps mentioning isn't magically turning into the sort of "loving gesture that echoes out into eternity" like the "human psychic energy reverb" he'd hoped for. It's nice and all, yes, but frankly, Mr(s) Franks, I work alongside him, and I'm of the mind that he's all out of loving gestures these days.
Oh He's fine.
This was his last email:
Didya read the review? It might have a connection to a dream I had of a loud stone echo symphony shaking the trees as distant loping wolves wildly led each other to a moonstone marbly ravine where they all howled, nestled like leaping lizards in the dark lord's ivy bowl, carving out the shape of the sky. The sky was affected like a prism. Can you please send a bouquet of those to the writer?
What sounds like hell swallowing down a thousand souls playing little laughing pianos? VALLEY. What reads like an all-at-once novel swirling in questionable literary mischief? VALLEY. What do cunningly crafted conceptual comic strip soundtracks and orientation musical mystery thrillers have in common? VALLEY. SEE YOU THERE. OR SEE YOU NEVER. (how about a little of both?) From the Desk of Shalo P :
Let's let the curve get another raise from what we have carved from dark.
But then again, having a three-way with your Calculus and Algebra teachers isn't the only way to prove you're a Polymath.
We've had "fawlty" internet in the workshop of late, AND constant work - this passion is prison (it would be laughable if it weren't so charmingly insistent).
We've faced some pesky delays in getting out word out, with this pesky interface being what it is these days...
we've resorted to just telling you straight up.
New Horizons (on the horizon, and a V A L L E Y perched on the edge of the abyss)!
YEP, we're steadily heading down those kind dusty slopes on blood red horses frothing hell's flame from open maw. I could've been the fifth horseman, indeed - I'd have dubbed myself "Psyche!".
But then again it may be misleading, since I do believe the phrase goes "it's all uphill from here".
V A L L E Y sees its return to the gallery space after four years or so, boiling over in its stygian flood of forms, with its latest shape to be presented on October 17, with glorious spectacle and stirring swirling cleverness(es).
If you'd like to help out in anyway, or wish to know more about it; I can take you there, but I might not be able to tell it to you completely - it's a mystery (am I misspelling misery?).
The boss has been cooped up in his office for months now it seems.
We'll be rolling out more news, once the interns are trained.
We do our best to avoid the foul smell coming from the backroom.
Maybe he's dead.
Well, we could just scoop that mother out clean, and fill his soft thorax with icecream and just have ourselves a social with all the secretaries on hand.
How's that for a V A L L E Y ?
Well, what I CAN say is that it's our first exhibition involving a theme that cannot merely be encapsulated by just saying "with emphasis placed upon the overlapping of voids". This time our subject is Lust, if only tangentially at the point its reached now. Aw, it's actually about ______.
Here's something that just hit my desk a moment ago:
FROM THE DESK OF SHALO P
Please state that this time it may actually be Lust Deferred or Dreams Defrayed.
Also, who's been using my T-square? I desperately need that lil' mother.
Nothing wacks ass like primed wood.
I'll accept any available extension cords in its place, to make do in its stead with a cat-of-nine-tails to awe the internet age.
We hope to see you soon. Tell your friends and those you love.
Tell you enemies that you'll be basked in a bash of brash rhythms 'til kingdom crumble, amid the humble ruins of a prisoner's passion (yes, I was told to write that too). If the knaves laugh, give 'em a smile on a subtle.
You are invited.
We love you and thank you again for all your support and love,